You’re scrolling through news feeds and see another story of a person who had their life taken away too early. You think to yourself, “What kind of world is this?” It’s a question that many of us have asked at some point in our lives. We live in an unjust world, and it can be hard to process why things are the way they are. But instead of feeling helpless and stuck in this unfairness, you can take control of your own path despite the odds.
It’s no secret that life can feel pretty unfair sometimes. Whether it’s due to a bad break, a missing piece of luck, or simply not getting what you deserve, dealing with life’s injustices can weigh heavily on your heart and mind.
Focusing on the unfairness of it all will do nothing but keep us stuck in a cycle of frustration and bitterness. So, instead of wallowing in the unfairness of life, we should take the time to understand why life is so unfair in the first place.
Let’s take a deep dive into how life works and how you can strive to make a difference by taking charge of your own destiny, even when the deck may sometimes appear stacked against you.
We’ll explore why life is so unfair, bust myths about what’s standing in your way, and ultimately uncover how to create a more just future for generations to come.
Table of Contents
What Is ‘Unfairness’?
Have you ever felt like life is unfair? It’s a feeling that can happen when things don’t go our way and the world seems to take advantage of us. That’s because life can be unpredictable, chaotic, and sometimes seemingly unjust.
But what exactly is “unfairness,” and why does it happen so often? When we experience an obstacle that we were not expecting or when the outcome of a situation does not match the effort put into it, we are experiencing unfairness.
For example, when you put in a month’s worth of hard work on an assignment only to get a grade of C instead of an A, this may feel unfair.
In reality, there is no universal definition for “unfairness.” Everyone’s perception of justice will be different and shaped by individual experiences.
However, recognizing when something feels unfair can be a useful tool for identifying and understanding our values, including what matters to us, what we think is important in life, and how best to combat the injustice that occurs.
The Nature of The Unfairness of Life
You’ve probably asked yourself at some point: Why is life so unfair? It’s a fair question, one that has been explored by philosophers since the beginning of time. There are many theories as to why life can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, from the idea that it’s all part of a karmic cycle to the notion that life’s hurdles are there to grow us as individuals.
At its core, life’s unfairness can be attributed to two things: chance and our choices. Chance or luck plays a key role in what happens in our lives; it may be as simple as winning a lottery or as complex as our parents’ decision to move away from a war-torn country.
Our choices, on the other hand, determine how we respond to circumstances that come our way. We may choose to give up or carry on, complain about what we don’t have, or find ways to work with the resources we do have.
Understanding these competing forces allows us to accept and embrace life’s challenges with grace and dignity, while also keeping sight of our power in creating positive change.
Perhaps more than anything else, life’s unfairness can lead us to a sense of deep resignation, a feeling that all of our strivings are for naught. We can go our entire lives asking why it has to be this way and never find an answer.
But instead of succumbing to this feeling of helplessness, try to look at life’s unfairness through the lens of humanity. Rather than asking how I cope, consider the strengths, skills, and experiences I’ve gained as a result of my difficult journey. Then apply them to guide and direct your efforts to address inequities in your own community or environment.
No matter what happens, it’s essential to keep believing in a better tomorrow. Accepting that life is unfair does not have to mean accepting defeat; instead, it can serve as motivation for being an advocate for fairness in your own life and community.
Find strength in yourself and your convictions so that you are not resigned but instead inspired to make the world a better place.
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Common misconceptions about life’s fairness
Maybe you’ve heard people say that life isn’t fair and it’s often the most difficult circumstances that can serve as a harsh reminder of that phrase. Here are a few common misconceptions about life’s fairness:
1. Life is supposed to be easy.
It isn’t always supposed to be easy. In fact, we learn lessons and gain strength through struggle. Life is meant to challenge us, stretch us, and make us grow. This doesn’t mean it’s always easy or that things won’t seem unfair at times, but if we persevere through the storms with resilience, we will grow stronger and more capable of tackling even bigger challenges in the future.
2. It matters who you know.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who you know or who your parents are. It’s all about how hard you work. You don’t need to be related to someone influential or depended on luck; it comes down to putting in the hours and not giving up when things get tough.
3. Only Money buys happiness.
This couldn’t be further from the truth: money can never buy true joy or unconditional love in your life. We should appreciate what we have instead of striving for something more materialistic. True happiness comes from within and experiencing new things, not from having more stuff around us.
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Reasons Why Is Life so Unfair
Life can be unfair due to chance and our choices. Chance or luck plays a key role in what happens in our lives, while our choices can also lead to unfairness. For example, we may choose to associate with people who are not good for us, or we may make poor decisions that lead to negative consequences. It’s important to recognize that life is not always fair and to focus on what we can control .
We all feel like life is unfair sometimes. We all deserve a fair break in this world, but the truth is, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes it seems unfair because you happen to have been born with fewer advantages than someone else, and it seems unfair that people judge your success as your own doing and their failure as a result of their own shortcomings.
But what’s important to remember is that these feelings of unfairness don’t need to strongly affect your life or make you feel worse. It’s easy to let them consume us, but we must be able to take a step back from how we think and be objective about the situation so that we don’t allow our emotions to take control of what we do.
1. Life Is Unpredictable and Uncontrollable
At times, it can feel like life is entirely out of your control. We do our best to plan, prepare, and make decisions but sometimes, it seems like the universe has something else planned for us. Life is unpredictable and uncontrollable, and that feeling of powerlessness can often lead to feelings of unfairness.
Put simply: you never know what challenges or obstacles life is going to throw your way. A lot of the time, these will be beyond your control which makes it hard to find solutions that will make life fairer in the future.
You may find yourself imagining different circumstances that would have allowed you to have a more successful outcome, but you’ll never be able to predict exactly what challenges will arise in your future. The unpredictable nature of life often makes things feel unfair, as if success isn’t down to our own hard work and perseverance.
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2. Unequal Life Opportunities
Life can seem especially unfair when you consider the unequal opportunities available between social classes and those in different locations. No matter how hard you work, if you don’t have the same opportunities as others, chances are that you won’t be successful.
Education
The way you’ve been educated plays a major role in what kind of future awaits you. For example, if you come from a poorer background and don’t get the same quality of education as those from higher socioeconomic classes, your career options are automatically limited. You might not even get access to certain job openings or competitive courses due to your lack of access to proper education.
Geographic Location
Though the internet has made our world smaller, where you physically live in it still matters. Living in certain areas can determine what kind of job opportunities are available to you, or how much money you can make doing certain jobs.
Depending on where you live, there might be a lower supply and higher demand for certain jobs meaning less competition for people looking for work but that may also mean lower wages than elsewhere.
Though life can seem unfair at times, it’s important to remember that everyone has different life experiences, privileges, and obstacles they have overcome along the way, and these factors all play into what we have achieved in our lives so far. There is no right or wrong way to reach success, just hard work and perseverance.
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3. Our Own Mindsets Can Manifest Injustice
It’s all too easy to spend our days feeling helpless and angry in the face of injustice. But while external forces can often be out of our control, one thing we can control is our own mindset and attitude. The way you view the world can affect how you experience it, and that means that your own mindset can be a tool for justice or for destructive behavior.
This is because our mindsets shape the stories that we tell ourselves about why certain situations are the way that they are, whether through a lens of injustice or justice.
You have the power to start shaping these stories to fit a more just perspective within your own mind by investing time in self-reflection and learning how to become aware of your own negative biases, understand the history of various forms of oppression, and explore your privilege when engaging with others. In doing this, you can create space to build solidarity with those who experience injustice instead of perpetuating it.
4. We Have Limited Control Over Our Destiny
At the end of the day, much of what happens to us in life is out of our control. You may have had ambitions and dreams for yourself and your future, but there are always external factors that can have a significant impact on how things turn out.
For instance, perhaps you applied for your dream job, hoping for success. But unbeknownst to you, the company was only offering the role internally, and so you didn’t even stand a chance from the start.
Or maybe you wanted to major in engineering at college but ended up having to take out student loans and couldn’t afford them. In both cases, it’s far from fair or reasonable that you couldn’t fulfill your plans, but these things simply can’t be helped in some cases.
It is important to remember that life isn’t necessarily designed to be “fair” or easy all the time, no matter how much we wish it were. Just because we are faced with obstacles doesn’t mean hope is lost. Understanding why life isn’t fair can help us find our way forward when faced with hardships.
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5. We Are Victims of Our Own Circumstances
Sometimes, life feels unfair because we are victims of our circumstances. When the cards are dealt, it may seem like some people have been dealt better hands than others. It’s true some people may be born into wealth and privilege, while others may come from poverty and inequality. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck in your circumstances forever.
You can make the best of what you have, no matter where you come from or what resources you have to draw upon. Here is a list of ways in which you can create a brighter future for yourself regardless of your current situation:
- Develop strong relationships with those around you.
- Take the initiative to improve your skillset.
- Make use of any resources available to you
- Embrace challenges as learning opportunities.
- Set short-term and long-term goals.
- Find mentors who can guide and advise you.
- Surround yourself with positive, like-minded people.
- Take time to think, plan and reflect on your progress.
- Persevere through adversity, and never give up hope.
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6. Society’s Definition of Success Can Be Unfair
It can feel like life is unfair when trying to determine what is considered ‘successful’ in society. We’re all so different and each of us is unique in our own way yet the same old rules seem to apply no matter what.
When it comes to measuring success, society tends to focus on traditional markers like education, financial status, job titles, and material possessions. And while these are important, they don’t always reflect the achievements you’re proudest of or the true value of your unique set of skills.
That’s not fair. Your definition of success should be personal; it’s how you define accomplishment on your own terms. Don’t let someone else decide what success looks like for you because everybody’s path looks different, and everyone takes a different route before reaching the version of success that works for them.
It can be hard to stick up for yourself sometimes and believe in yourself. But remind yourself that the world has no idea what you’re capable of until you show them. Ultimately, it’s up to you to craft your goals and work toward a purpose that makes sense for you, not anyone else.
7. Unfair Expectations Based on Gender and Race
Have you ever felt like you’re being judged or even held to different standards, simply because of your gender or race? It’s no secret that society still hasn’t completely transcended traditional ideas about gender and race, and sometimes this leads to unfair expectations from friends, family, school, the workplace, and more.
Here are some examples of how these expectations can be unfair:
Family Pressure
When it comes to family, it’s common for certain expectations to be placed on particular genders or racial identities. For example, a single mother might put a lot more pressure on her son to succeed than her daughter, in order to “make up” for the absence of a male role model in the home.
Appearance Standards
There is also a lot of pressure placed on people to subscribe and conform to societal beauty standards from hair length, skin tone and clothing choice which can be based on gender or race. This is especially true in the media and fashion industries.
Implications in Employment Opportunities
Race-based discrimination can still exist within hiring practices at workplaces from job interviews right through to promotions where certain stereotypes about specific ethnic minorities may cause them to be overlooked for roles that they are qualified for but that someone else may be deemed more suitable for.
It’s not easy living with fair expectations that feel unfair but being aware of the problem is an important first step towards creating change.
I used to struggle with my mind for a long time, wondering why this happened to me even though I did my best. After a long period of sitting in a corner, thinking about the unfairness of life and why I deserved it when I hadn’t done anything wrong, here are some ways I’ve learned to cope with the majority of my unfair situations:
8. Life isn’t supposed to be fair or equal for everyone.
Life isn’t supposed to be fair or equal for everyone. Some people are born into wealth and privilege, while others face immense hardships from day one. As much as we wish it weren’t so, the truth is that life’s injustices are unavoidable.
We all have moments when the unfairness of it all hits us hard. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do jerks seem to have all the luck? It can feel profoundly unjust.
The hard truth is that there’s no grand plan ensuring that good deeds are rewarded or that hard work always pays off. Life is simply neither fair nor unfair. While we can work to remedy injustice and inequality on a societal scale, on an individual level, the only thing we can control is our reaction. When life’s inequities threaten to get you down:
- Practice self-care. Make sure to connect with loved ones who support you.
- Focus on gratitude. Appreciate the good things you do have, rather than resenting what you lack.
- Do small acts of kindness. Helping others gets your mind off your worries and boosts your well-being.
Accept what you can’t change. As hard as it is, make peace with the fact that life isn’t meant to be fair. The only thing you can control is your response.
Though the world may not always be just, we can find meaning even in suffering. We can choose compassion over bitterness and kindness over resentment. Life may not be fair, but we can still make the world a little bit better. That is within our power.
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9. The Role of Luck and Randomness in Outcomes
We all know life isn’t fair. As much as we’d like to believe that hard work and perseverance always pay off, the truth is that luck and randomness play a huge role in how things turn out.
Take getting into college, for example. No matter how good your grades are or how high you score on the SAT, there’s an element of chance regarding who gets accepted and who gets rejected. Admissions officers have to make judgment calls, and they don’t always get it right. Sometimes less deserving students get in while more deserving ones don’t. It’s not fair, but it’s life.
The same is true in careers and business. Two equally smart, hardworking entrepreneurs could start companies at the same time but end up with vastly different outcomes based primarily on luck. One might happen to launch a product that taps into the cultural zeitgeist and spreads like wildfire, while the other’s offering fails to gain traction through no fault of their own.
Romantic relationships are also subject to a fair amount of randomness. Meeting the right person often comes down to fortunate timing and stumbling into a serendipitous encounter. While there are things we can do to increase the probability of finding a good match, ultimately finding “the one” requires a bit of luck.
The truth is, life’s not fair because randomness and luck are built into the system. The universe is chaotic, complex, and unpredictable. While there are always things we can do to tilt the odds in our favor, at the end of the day, the amount of control we have over outcomes is limited. The sooner we accept this, the less disappointed we’ll be when life feels unfair. The good news is that, while randomness may work against us at times, it can also work in our favor. So, here’s to hoping Lady Luck is on your side!
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10. Cognitive biases lead us to see injustice where it may not exist.
We all have a tendency to perceive injustice and unfairness in the world around us, even when they do not exist. Our cognitive biases—the mental shortcuts our brains take to make quick judgments—often lead us to see unfairness where there is none.
Confirmation bias
We seek out and believe information that confirms what we already think and ignore information that contradicts our preexisting beliefs. So if we expect the world to be unfair, we’ll notice and focus on examples that prove that belief while dismissing instances that suggest otherwise.
Illusory correlation
We tend to perceive a relationship between two events when there is none. For example, we may think people of a certain ethnicity get promoted more often because of their character flaws, when in reality there is no connection. Our mind is creating an illusory correlation.
Fundamental attribution error
We blame individuals for their circumstances rather than considering external factors. When we see someone in an unfortunate situation, we assume it’s due to their own poor choices or character flaws. We fail to account for factors outside of their control, like their environment, upbringing, education, and opportunities (or lack thereof). This bias leads us to believe that life’s injustices are deserved or self-inflicted, rather than a result of an unfair system or random chance.
Moral luck
We judge people for things outside of their control, like natural talents, family wealth, health issues, or other life circumstances. But no one chooses the conditions into which they are born or the random events that shape their lives. Recognizing this “moral luck” can help us develop more empathy and see that perceived injustices are often due to arbitrary factors, not life.
The truth is, life isn’t always fair. But by being aware of our cognitive biases, we can gain a more balanced perspective and work to build a society with greater justice and equality of opportunity. Recognizing moral luck and arbitrary chance can help foster more empathy, compassion, and kindness toward others.
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11. Early childhood experiences shape our sense of fairness.
Our sense of fairness is shaped from an early age. As children, we observe the world around us and internalize beliefs about justice and equality based on how we see others treated. Unfortunately, the lessons we learn aren’t always good ones.
Many of us grew up in environments where we witnessed inequality, prejudice, and mistreatment. We saw people denied opportunities or judged harshly due to their gender, race, orientation, religion, or social class. These early experiences taught us that the world isn’t fair and planted the seeds of cynicism.
The messages we received
As kids, well-meaning adults often tell us “life isn’t fair” to prepare us for disappointment. But hearing this repeatedly can lead us to accept unfairness and even spread it to others. We may adopt beliefs like:
- People get what they deserve.
- Might makes right. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.
These toxic messages stay with us and skew our views. Even small injustices in childhood, like perceived favoritism shown to another child, can have a lasting impact.
The scars remain.
The unfairness we observe as children leaves scars on our sense of justice that are hard to heal. As adults, we see the world through this lens of cynicism and expect the worst. When we encounter new injustices, no matter how small, old wounds are ripped open. Our reaction is disproportionate to the current situation because it taps into a well of accumulated pain.
The only way to improve our sense of fairness is through conscious effort. We must challenge old beliefs, increase our empathy, and commit to building a more just world for others. It’s a long process, but by healing ourselves, we can help make society a little fairer too.
12. Some groups face systemic injustices and discrimination.
Some groups in society face systemic discrimination and injustice. Minority groups, marginalized communities, and vulnerable populations often struggle against unfair treatment, a lack of opportunity, and unequal access to resources.
As a society, we have come a long way toward promoting equality and justice for all. But we still have a long way to go to remedy the harms of discrimination and make sure everyone has a fair chance in life, regardless of their race, gender, internal orientation, disability status, or other attributes.
Racial minorities
Racial discrimination and racial injustice are still major problems. Minority groups face higher rates of poverty, unemployment, police violence, and incarceration. They have less access to healthcare, education, and economic opportunity. Systemic racism built into our institutions and policies continues to negatively impact people of color.
Women
Women face discrimination and unequal treatment in the workplace, like unequal pay and a lack of career advancement opportunities compared to men. They experience high rates of domestic violence. In some cultures, women have little access to education, healthcare, and control over family planning. Legal rights and protections for women are still lacking in many parts of the world.
LGBTQ+ community
The LGBTQ+ community faces discrimination, stigma, and a lack of legal rights in many places. They experience high rates of harassment, violence, homelessness, and mental health issues. Same-gender marriage and adoption rights are still not recognized universally. Many face rejection from friends and family due to their internal orientation or gender identity.
People with disabilities
Those with physical, intellectual, and mental disabilities often face discrimination, lack of accommodation, and unequal access to public spaces, transportation, healthcare, education, and employment. Many live in poverty due to a lack of opportunity and difficulty finding gainful work. Legal protections against discrimination are not strongly enforced.
We all must work to remedy injustice, promote equal treatment under the law, and create a fair and just society for people from all walks of life. No one should face unfair barriers due to attributes outside of their control. Together, we can build a more equitable and inclusive world for all.
How do you cope with the unfairness of life?
It doesn’t seem fair that some people get to experience privilege and affluence and others don’t, does it? You may feel powerless to make a change in the world, but your life is still within your control. Here’s how you can start taking ownership of your own path:
1. Recognize and Accept Unfairness
No one likes to think about it, but unfairness is an unavoidable truth in life. No matter how hard you try or how much you think you deserve something, unfair things happen. Recognizing and accepting this can be difficult, but it’s key to gaining the strength to keep going when times are tough.
So, how do you recognize and accept the unfairness of life? Start by understanding that life is not fair for everyone not for you, and not for anybody else either. Treating yourself with compassion during hard times will help to remind you that everyone experiences their share of misfortune from time to time.
Often, unfairness can be seen as a test of emotional resilience; it’s a reminder to stay strong and not give up in the face of struggle or disappointment. It also helps to look at how far you’ve come: learn from your past experiences so that they don’t become roadblocks as you move forward in your journey.
By acknowledging the nature of life’s inherent unfairness and recognizing its purpose, you can find inner strength when faced with an unjust reality.
2. Learn to Cultivate Gratitude and Perspective.
It may seem like life is simply unfair to you right now, but the feeling of helplessness is only natural. The best thing to do is to stop worrying so much and focus your energy on cultivating gratitude and perspective in your life.
Gratitude
When things don’t go your way, take a moment to look around and appreciate the good things in your life. Making a list of all the people, places, and moments that have brought you joy can be a powerful tool for reflection and refocusing on what makes life worth living.
It’s also a great reminder that even when times feel hard, they could always be worse. So, take advantage of these moments to practice gratitude and kindness.
Perspective
Life has its ups and downs, but if you take the time to look back over the course of your life, is it really that different than it was before? As you evaluate difficult situations, remember that it’s not just about what happened today, yesterday, or last week. It’s also about how you got here.
How did this decision lead up to this moment? You can learn so much by trying to understand how events unfolded in order to help make better decisions down the line.
Learning how to cultivate gratitude and perspective are two invaluable tools for dealing with unfair times in life. Not only will they help you move past unfortunate events more easily, but they will also serve as reminders of the more beautiful aspects of life as well as give you an opportunity for growth through reflection and insight.
3. Become more aware of your thoughts and feelings
There are many ways to cope with the unfairness of life. The first step is awareness, so you can start making changes in your life. When we’re stressed, it can be difficult for us to see that we’re feeling upset or angry about something. We need to know how we feel so that we can acknowledge what’s troubling us and take steps toward changing it, if necessary.
Life is what you make of it. The world, as we know it, is a reflection of our thoughts and feelings, our desires and fears. To this day, the majority of people believe that life has been unfair to them and that they were born into unjust circumstances.
I would like to challenge this assumption by explaining how you can change your response to what happens in your life, instead of waiting for life to give back all its natural blessings without asking for anything in return.
If you want something bad enough, then nothing will stop you from getting it, even if there are obstacles standing in your way.
We are all born with different abilities and talents, some with a silver spoon in their mouths and others with a golden one. Some people have to work hard for what they want, while others do not.
Some may have been lucky enough to be born into wealthy families who can afford to give them everything they need, but this doesn’t mean that you won’t have struggles of your own if you don’t get what everyone else gets on your birth certificate.
It’s easy to think that life isn’t fair because we’ve all experienced hardships or problems at some point in our lives, but remember: This doesn’t mean there isn’t hope for change.
You Can’t Change What Happens to You
When your best friend moves away, gets fired, or breaks up with their boyfriend or girlfriend and leaves town for good when these things happen, they’re just the way they are.
You can’t do anything about them other than respond appropriately in response to them and then go on with life as if nothing happened. They are part of who we are as humans; our lives are made up of who we have been and what has happened to us throughout our lives (both positive and negative).
You won’t change this fact about yourself by changing your circumstances; there isn’t any magic wand that will allow you access to another dimension where everything goes according to plan for everyone who lives there.
You Can Change Your Response
We all have a choice when we’re faced with situations like this. We can choose to be happy or sad.
If you feel sad, think about what you can change about your response:
- Change your perspective. Think about how the situation makes sense from an outside perspective, rather than from the perspective of someone who has been through it before and knows what’s coming next (e.g., “This is just one more thing out of our hands.”)
- Focus on what matters most in life instead of focusing on things that don’t matter at all (like dwelling in the past).
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4. Learn to Focus on What Makes You Happy, Instead of What Doesn’t.
“Focus on what makes you happy, and do what gives meaning to your life”
Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less
It’s easy to focus on the negative and dwell on everything that’s going wrong. But if you’re trying to find happiness, it’s important to look at the positive things in life as well.
When I was younger, I was always too preoccupied with what I didn’t have instead of focusing on all the things that I could control, which usually led me right back down into a pit of depression.
But now that I’ve learned how valuable it is for me (and others) to take time out each day just thinking about those things that make us smile or laugh out loud.
5. Be kind and be grateful for what you have
The world is full of people who have it worse than you do, so it’s easy to take things for granted and feel like your life is unfair. But if you’re always thankful for all the good things in your life, then this will help remind you that there are some people out there who have even less than what they deserve.
If you can’t do this, then try to see the positive side of things, or at least try not to focus on all the bad things that happen in life and only think about how lucky we are if we get through them alive, or just be able to wake up tomorrow morning without being paralyzed by fear from what could happen next time around.
Take time out for yourself: If there isn’t anything else going on during the day (and this includes family members),
*Try taking a break from work or school by spending an hour doing something relaxing, such as reading a book or listening to music.
* Talk about it: Talking about how you feel with someone who cares about you will help relieve some stressors in your life.
*Engage in a hobby or practice mindfulness.
* Get enough sleep at night before going to work each morning so that when daylight comes around again after midnight then there won’t be any need whatsoever.”
*Be kinder towards yourself by recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, rather than focusing on all the things that could go wrong if something bad happened (like losing an important job). It may sound silly, but sometimes asking someone else how they would handle an issue can help us get over ourselves enough so we can move forward with confidence instead of being stuck in fear mode all day long.
6. Find the Strength to Move Forward
It’s okay to feel sad, angry and frustrated when life feels unfair. After all, what other emotions should you be feeling in these trying times? It’s natural to have a range of emotions just don’t let them consume you.
What do you do when life doesn’t go the way you expected? How do you find the strength to move forward even though it feels like your world has been shattered?
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
It’s important to acknowledge and accept that life is unfair sometimes. We can try our best to control what happens around us, but at the end of the day, we’re not always in control. Accepting that will help ease your mind and free up inner strength for moving on.
2. Surround Yourself with Support
Having a strong support system help you process your emotions and provide comfort during difficult times. Being surrounded by family or friends who understand your situation can be incredibly beneficial in helping you cope with an injustice or unfairness that’s beyond your control.
3. Believe in Something Bigger
If you believe in something bigger than yourself, like a spiritual practice, religion, or force of nature, finding strength during tough times can be easier knowing that everything happens for a reason. Whether it’s fate, destiny, or luck, believing something greater is controlling your world can make unfairness seem more manageable.
4. Look for role models.
Find people who have faced or are facing similar struggles and see how they tackled them. Their stories of resilience might just be what helps you take control of your own path and find hope in an unjust world.
5. Practice self-care and self-compassion.
Take time to nurture yourself and practice self-love so that you can be in a better state of mind to tackle any obstacles that come your way.
6. Know that it isn’t your fault.
You may feel like you’ve been dealt a bad hand in life, but don’t blame yourself a lot of the time, we simply don’t have control over our circumstances.
7. Find Your Power.
In order to take control of your own path, you first need to find your power. This power can come from within, through self-esteem and self-confidence, or it can be found in those around you—family, friends, and other support systems. Once you have identified your source of power, use it to guide you towards the knowledge and skills that will help you flourish in challenging times.
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8. Find The Meaning and Purpose in Your Life
It’s natural to feel like everything is outside of your control when life throws challenges your way. But believe it or not, you can still take back some level of control. Start by asking yourself what meaning and purpose you want your life to have.
Think of this exercise like mapping a path, but instead of a physical one, it’s a mental pathway, leading towards the goals and purpose you want to find in life. It’s up to you and only you to establish what it is you want out of life and take the steps necessary to make it happen.
What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What causes do you stand for? These are just some of the questions that will help define your life’s purpose. Consider who has inspired you throughout your journey and how their story has shaped or motivated yours. Who are the people or things that bring positivity into your life?
After identifying goals for yourself, create action plans for turning them into reality. Consider what resources are at your disposal. Think about the skills that come naturally to you and how they can help bring those ideas from conception to implementation.
Life can be harsh, unpredictable, and sometimes downright cruel at times, but it doesn’t have to end there. By taking the time to focus on what truly matters in life and what drives us forward in our lives, we can start reclaiming some control and establishing a higher level of contentment.
Finding Purpose and Meaning in Life Despite Its Unfairness
Life is not always fair, but this doesn’t mean that it is devoid of any purpose or meaning. As hard as it may seem, finding purpose and meaning in life despite its unfairness is a key step to understanding and accepting the unfairness of life.
Firstly, it’s important to remember that life is about perspective. Everyone experiences different things in life, so the way you view life’s unfairness will depend on your own unique experience. You can find ways to make sense of the situations that feel unfair by taking a step back and reframing them in terms of what you can learn from them and where they may be leading you.
Secondly, it is essential to focus on what makes life meaningful to you finding things that give you joy and bring out the best in yourself will help provide perspective during tough times. This could involve getting involved in something that helps society, developing your creativity or engaging with your community.
Finally, it is important to remember that there are some things in life we cannot control; however, challenging yourself to change what you do have control over will help you find strength during times when things seem unfair. This could involve taking an active role in seeking out helpful insights or changing your expectations or beliefs about yourself and the world around you.
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How to Find balance Between Accepting Fate And Taking Control of Our Lives
Fate is the idea that our future is fixed, predetermined, or preordained by some outside influence. It’s the belief that some higher power has arranged everything for us and our actions don’t really make a difference. On the other hand, taking control implies that you are in charge of your destiny and have the power to make decisions to shape your own future.
At first glance, it may seem like accepting fate and taking control of our lives are opposites. After all, one involves trusting that whatever happens is meant to be, while the other requires us to take on the responsibility of creating our own destiny.
But the truth is that they are deeply connected. When we accept the things we have no control over the events, people, and situations in our lives that can’t be changed we actually create space in our minds and hearts to focus more on the things we can control. Instead of worrying about something outside of our power, we can shift our energy towards productive goals and actions.
Once we understand this connection, it becomes much easier to find a balance between these two forces in life: accepting what’s out of our hands and taking action on what’s within it. Knowing when to embrace fate and when to take charge will lead us closer to achieving a fulfilling life.
It can be hard to find the balance between accepting fate and taking control of our lives, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. Here are a few tips for how you can do it:
1. Living Purposefully
It involves doing the things that matter most to us and focusing on our goals and dreams. Making conscious decisions about our lives, instead of simply allowing life to control us, is a way to take control of our own destiny.
For example, if you want to become a doctor, create a plan that outlines how you will make that happen what courses do you need to take? What will your timeline look like? How will you pay for your education? These are just some examples of how you can start taking control of your life while still accepting that there may be bumps in the road along the way.
2. Embracing Uncertainty
Accepting our fate means embracing uncertainty with an open mind and heart. This can be difficult, especially because uncertainty often carries shame and guilt. Instead of trying to close off from these feelings, try to sit with them and work through them so that you can move forward in a healthy way.
3. Letting Go of Expectations
It is key when it comes to finding balance between accepting fate and taking control of our own lives. We all have certain hopes or expectations when it comes to where we want to go in life. The difference is in how we approach those expectations. If we’re too rigid in our expectations, it might mean that we don’t leave room for unexpected surprises along the way or opportunities for growth and learning.
4. Take Action
At the same time, it’s important to take action and make decisions that are in your best interest. There will always be things that are out of our control, but we can still make choices that will lead us in the right direction. Whether it’s taking on a new job, starting a business, going back to school or investing in yourself, taking proactive steps towards your goals makes you more in control of your own destiny and gives you hope for the future.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
When life isn’t going your way, focus on small wins as a reminder that progress is possible even when the odds seem stacked against you. Celebrating small wins builds resilience. It is something we need to get through challenging times and boosts our sense of self-efficacy (our belief in ourselves). It also helps keep our focus on what matters most: staying resilient despite life’s injustices and having faith that good things will happen eventually.
Who Said Life Had to Be Always Fair?
If you have ever opened up the newspaper or your Facebook feed, you know this to be true. The world is full of people who are suffering in one way or another. People suffer from a disease, poverty, oppression, or the way they were born (even the appearance and more about themselves).
Life is a bit unfair. And you’re not the only one who feels this way. There are many people out there who are also living their lives in a world that seems unfair, but what can we do about it? Firstly, know that your situation is unique to you and no one else. It may seem like everyone else has it worse than you, but they don’t; they just have different circumstances that affect them differently from yours.
Second of all: although some things will be harder for you than others (and those things will probably happen sooner or later), there’s always hope for change. Things always get better as time goes on, if it doesn’t sound like it right now.
Maybe it won’t be so bad tomorrow… or next year… or even ten years from now, when we’re all old ladies sitting in our rocking chairs, reminiscing about how much fun we used to have together when life was simpler.
So, it is better to wake up our mind to see the truth/ the reality of the life.
Sometimes you are the one who has more advantages than someone else, and it seems unfair that people judge your success as your own doing and their failure as a result of their own shortcomings.
We all have different circumstances. Some people are born into more fortunate situations than others, and some are in less fortunate situations, but we all have to deal with what we’re dealt with in life. We don’t make our own luck or misfortune; it’s just part of being human.
Remember not only you, many people struggle with the question of why life is so unfair. They may feel that they have been dealt a bad hand, that they face more challenges than others, or that they are victims of fate or circumstance. But is life really unfair, or is it just our perception of it?
One way to approach this question is to consider the concept of fairness itself. What does it mean for something to be fair? How do we measure fairness? Who decides what is fair and what is not? These are not easy questions to answer, and different people may have different opinions and values. Another way to approach this question is to recognize that life is not a single entity but a complex and dynamic system of interconnected events, choices, and consequences.
Life is not something that happens to us, but something that we participate in and influence. We cannot control everything that happens in life, but we can control how we respond to it. We can choose to see life as a series of opportunities and challenges rather than as a series of obstacles and injustices.
Life is not fair or unfair; it is what we make of it. We can choose to focus on the positive aspects of life, such as our strengths, our passions, our relationships, and our goals. We can also choose to learn from the negative aspects of life, such as our mistakes, our failures, our setbacks, and our losses. We can use these experiences as sources of growth, resilience, and wisdom.
Life is not a competition or a comparison; it is a journey and a discovery. We can choose to appreciate the diversity and uniqueness of life rather than judge or envy others. We can also choose to celebrate our own achievements and contributions, rather than diminish or undermine them. We can use these moments as sources of joy, gratitude, and fulfillment.
We must live with the fact that life will not always be fair, no matter how hard we try. There are many people out there who have it worse than you do. This is just a fact of life that we must accept as we grow older and face the challenges and struggles of adulthood.
Conclusion
Life is not always as fair as you’d expect. You can’t change that. But you can change how you respond to it. Sometimes things indeed happen in life that make you wonder, “Why is life so unfair to me?” or feel angry, sad, or frustrated. But if we learn to focus on what makes us happy instead of what doesn’t, then those experiences become opportunities for growth instead of obstacles to it.
If you’re feeling down about life being unfair, don’t focus on the negatives. Instead, focus on what makes you happy and positive, and let those feelings carry you through your day. You may not be able to change what happens around us, but we can sure as heck change our own reactions towards them, and that will help us feel better in any situation.
It’s easy to get caught up in the feeling that life is unfair, but it’s important to remember that you have the power to create your own path. Some of the most essential steps are learning how to take control, identifying the views and beliefs that you want to live by, and taking the time to develop practices that will help you self-regulate your emotions and create positive change.
References
- Life is NOT FAIR. It NEVER Will Be. It’s OK.– YouTube video
- 7 reasons why life isn’t fair and how to be better at accepting it.
- ABOUT NEW YORK; Life Is Unfair, but Not Always Tragic – New York Times Magazine
- The Paradox of Choice – Book by Barry Schwartz
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Most of what you write is wrong. Life is unfair. That’s the first one. Although when taken as a simplification, you can let that one pass. As I don’t want to write a long clarification, I’ll keep it very concise by only writing the broad concept. Life is what happens and that can never be fair or unfair. It happens. Only when you define life as concept as the results of people’s actions, then certainly and without a doubt, life is unfair. Because people are incredibly unfair. And they are because it benefits themselves. When a situation presents itself where someone will benefit from being fair, then they will be fair. Will you then say that life is fair? Of course not. Life is perceived as unfair because the overwhelming majority of human interaction is so that someone will benefit by treating another person unfairly. It is rare that one will benefit by treating others fairly. So, no, life is not unfair or fair for that matter, it’s just life. It happens. It’s people who are overwhelmingly unfair ( and it’s not 60-40 or even 80-20, its 99,9-0.1) .
“Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your perspective on life and fairness. While it’s true that life can be unpredictable and people can be unfair, I believe that we can still strive to make the world a better place by treating others with kindness and respect. It’s important to remember that our actions have consequences and can impact others in ways we may not realize. That’s how our lives become unfair.