You’ve always gotten everything you wanted. The latest gadgets, name-brand clothes, lavish vacations—if you wanted it, it was yours. Being spoiled has been your normal for as long as you can remember. But lately, you’ve started to feel uneasy with your life of excess. You realize that constantly getting everything handed to you has left you without purpose or motivation.
You don’t even appreciate the things you have anymore because there’s always something newer and shinier waiting around the corner. It’s time for a change. Keep reading if you want to break out of your spoiled existence and start building character, discipline, and life skills. This article will show you how to stop being spoiled by making key lifestyle changes and learning the art of doing without.
Table of Contents
Recognizing the Signs That You Are Spoiled
Do you constantly need to have the latest tech gadgets, designer clothes, or lavish vacations to feel satisfied? If so, you may have become spoiled. Here are some signs you’ve crossed into excessive territory:
- You feel entitled to rewards and gifts for no reason. Just because it’s your birthday or the holidays doesn’t mean you automatically deserve an expensive present.
- You’re impatient and irritable when you don’t get your way. Not receiving the latest iPhone model the day it’s released shouldn’t ruin your week.
- You value material goods over relationships or experiences. The things you own shouldn’t be more important than the people in your life or making meaningful memories.
- You need to appreciate what you have. Take a moment to recognize all the privileges you enjoy, big and small. Be grateful for the conveniences and comforts you may take for granted.
The good news is that you can break out of the cycle of excess. Make a habit of being more mindful of what you have than what you lack. Set limits on lavish spending and learn the joy of moderation. Place more value on life’s simple pleasures and nurturing relationships. Over time, needing constant excess to feel good about yourself will fade into the past. You have the power to change; you have to decide if you want to.
How to Stop Being Spoiled
To stop being spoiled, you need to change your mindset and behavior. One way to do this is to recognize your privilege and be grateful for what you have, instead of taking things for granted or complaining. Another way is to stop expecting others to cater to your every whim and demand and learn to compromise and negotiate with others.
You also need to develop empathy and compassion for others who are less fortunate than you and volunteer for a cause that helps people in need. Finally, you need to set realistic goals and work hard to achieve them, rather than relying on others to do everything for you.
Method 1 – Understanding Where the Sense of Entitlement Comes From
You were probably spoiled as a kid, whether you realized it or not. Your parents likely gave you almost everything you wanted to keep you happy. Now you’re used to getting your way and expect life to cater to your desires.
Where Entitlement Mentality Comes From
As children, our parents are responsible for teaching us life lessons to prepare us for adulthood. However, some parents have difficulty saying “no” and give in too easily to their kids’ demands. This teaches children that they can have whatever they want without earning it.
- Your parents may have lavished you with gifts and praise to show you affection. While their intentions were good, this made you feel like you deserved rewards just for being you.
- Maybe your parents felt guilty about not spending enough time with you due to work or other obligations. To make up for it, they indulge in your material wants. This gave you the impression that you could have anything money could buy.
- Your parents could not give you responsibilities and chores to teach you the value of earning rewards through hard work and good behavior. Without these life lessons, you never learned to work for what you wanted.
The past is the past, but now it’s time to break the cycle of entitlement. Recognize where your spoiled tendencies come from and make the choice to change your mindset and habits. You can overcome an entitlement mentality by learning life’s most important lesson: nothing worth having comes easy. With hard work and perseverance, you can stop being spoiled.
Method 2 – Learning Gratitude and Appreciation
Learning to appreciate what you have is key to overcoming a spoiled mindset. When you practice gratitude, you value experiences and relationships over material things.
Find meaning in small moments.
Notice the little details in your day that you typically overlook. It could be the sunrise peeking through your window in the morning or a warm cup of coffee. Take time each day to appreciate these small pleasures. Keep a gratitude journal and record three things you’re grateful for daily. Writing them down helps to reinforce them in your mind.
Spend time with loved ones.
Make the time to connect with friends and family who support and enrich your life. Do small things to show you appreciate them, like giving compliments, offering to help, or just listening when they want to talk. The relationships in our lives are one of the greatest gifts, so nurture them.
Volunteer your time.
Giving back to your community helps build gratitude and perspective. Find a local charity or organization you connect with and volunteer your time. Helping others gets your mind off yourself and allows you to see how fortunate you are. You’ll also meet like-minded people and form new, meaningful relationships.
Reflect on what you have.
It’s easy to dwell on what you don’t have and lose sight of how much you’ve been given. Set aside time each week to reflect on the good things in your life. Think about your home, access to food and healthcare, friends and family, natural talents, and opportunities. Remind yourself of how blessed you are. An attitude of gratitude will help spoil you in the best way possible.
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Method 3 – Becoming More Self-Sufficient and Independent
It would be best if you started doing more for yourself to become less spoiled and dependent. Some key ways to build self-sufficiency include:
Learn essential life skills.
Everyone should know many basic skills to function independently as adults. Learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, manage finances, make minor home repairs, etc. Refrain from relying on others to handle these tasks for you.
Budget and pay your bills.
Take control of your finances by creating a budget to track your income and expenses. Pay all of your bills on time each month. Don’t depend on your parents or anyone else to pay for your essential living costs. Managing your own money is a crucial step towards independence.
Move out on your own.
If you still live with your parents or guardians, plan to move into your place. Living independently will force you to handle many responsibilities you’ve likely been shielded from. You’ll have to pay rent and utilities, buy groceries, cook meals, clean the space, and more—all without relying on others.
Set your schedule and priorities.
Don’t let others dictate how you spend your time each day. Wake up and go to bed when you choose. Make to-do lists and schedules to get things done. Learn to motivate yourself rather than needing constant reminders or pushes from those around you.
Gaining independence and self-sufficiency is a challenging but rewarding process. Start by making small changes and building essential life skills. Become the master of your time, money, home, and priorities. Breaking free of your spoiled tendencies and excessive reliance on others will empower you to live a more fulfilling life on your terms.
Method 4 – Setting realistic expectations for yourself
To stop being spoiled, you need to set realistic expectations for yourself. This means:
Living within your means
Stop overspending and going into debt to finance an extravagant lifestyle. Learn to budget your money and live within your income. Buy only what you can afford and avoid keeping up with the Joneses.
Doing things for yourself
Expect others to do only some things for you. Learn skills like cooking, cleaning, and basic home and auto maintenance. Do your own chores and daily tasks instead of relying on hired help. Perform self-care and address your own needs. Becoming self-sufficient and independent will make you appreciate what you have.
Accepting discomfort
Understand that life involves difficulties, challenges, and discomfort. Refrain from constant ease, indulgence, and convenience. Learn to tolerate frustration, boredom, effort, and hard work. Pushing through struggles will build character and resilience.
Facing consequences
Take responsibility for your actions and choices. Do not expect to evade penalties or repercussions when you make mistakes. Allow yourself to fail and face the consequences at times. Learn from your errors instead of blaming others. Developing accountability and grit will make you stronger and less spoiled.
These mental shifts will transform your excessive expectations into a reasonable and balanced outlook. Appreciate what you have, become self-reliant, accept difficulties, and take ownership of your life. You can overcome your spoiled tendencies with time and practice by setting realistic expectations.
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Method 5 – Breaking the Spoiled Mindset
Breaking the spoiled mindset is challenging but necessary to overcome excess. It will require conscious effort and a willingness to change some comfortable habits.
Challenge Yourself
Push yourself outside your comfort zone. Do things that don’t come easy. Pick up a hobby that requires effort and dedication, like learning to play an instrument or training for a 5K. Developing mastery and discipline in one area of your life will strengthen your ability to delay gratification in other areas.
Practice Gratitude
Appreciate what you have instead of focusing on what you lack. Make a habit of acknowledging small pleasures and blessings each day. Be present in moments of joy and connection with loved ones. Your excess likely stems from feelings of lack, so nurturing an attitude of gratitude will help shift your mindset.
Set Limits
Impose restraints on yourself to build a tolerance for discomfort. For example, limit screen time, dining out, or lavish spending for a week or month. Notice how your craving for excess begins to fade as you adapt to less. Then, continue operating within those limits. Constraints breed creativity and a greater capacity for joy in simple pleasures.
Serve Others
Do something kind for someone else each day without expectation of reward or return. Make a meal for a friend in need; volunteer your time for a good cause; donate unwanted goods to a shelter; or listen to someone struggling. Giving to others helps combat the selfish tendencies that feed a spoiled lifestyle. Focusing outward cultivates purpose and gratitude.
You can consciously practice these principles to overcome excess and nurture contentment. The spoiled mindset won’t vanish overnight, but each small step toward balance and restraint will strengthen your ability to stop being spoiled. Keep at it, and don’t give up! With time and perseverance, you’ll break out of your life of excess for good.
Method 6 – Earning rewards through hard work and merit
To stop being spoiled, you must start earning rewards and privileges through hard work and merit rather than just expecting handouts.
Develop a work ethic.
Work ethic means diligently working towards goals and putting in the effort to achieve results. Start by setting small, achievable goals and following through. Meet your deadlines and commitments. Ask yourself if you’ve earned something before you get it. Over time, achieving goals through motivation and labor will build your work ethic.
Stop making excuses.
It’s easy to make excuses for why you can’t do something or didn’t achieve what you wanted. Spoiled people often blame external factors instead of taking responsibility. Identify the excuses you commonly make and reframe your thinking. Rather than “I can’t because…” say, “I can do this if I try.” Take ownership of your actions and outcomes. Face challenges head-on instead of avoiding difficulty.
Do things for yourself.
Do small things for yourself each day without relying on others. Make your meals, do your chores, and run your errands. Solve your problems as much as possible before asking for help. The more you do for yourself, the more self-sufficient and independent you will become. Start with something easy, like making breakfast or laundry, then work your way up to bigger responsibilities.
Accept consequences
Part of earning rewards through merit is facing the consequences of making mistakes or poor choices. Spoiled people are shielded from consequences, but in life, they are unavoidable. Accept responsibility for your mistakes and see the consequences as a chance to learn, rather than complaining or making excuses. Understand that you have to earn the good in life along with the bad. You’ll make better choices with time, knowing that consequences will follow your actions.
Method 7 – Finding fulfillment through giving back
Once you’ve identified the excess in your life and made changes, it’s time to find fulfillment and purpose. One of the best ways to do this is by giving back to others.
Volunteer your time.
Giving your time to help others is rewarding and helps build character. Look for opportunities in your local community, like:
- Serving meals at a soup kitchen or food bank.
- Tutoring or mentoring disadvantaged children.
- Cleaning up parks or beaches.
- Visiting senior citizens or older people.
Donate useful items.
Go through your home and garage and donate useful but unnecessary items to charities like:
- Habitat for Humanity Restores: Donate furniture, home goods, and building materials.
- Local animal shelters: donate food, toys, bedding, and cleaning supplies.
- Thrift stores: donate clothing, shoes, books, toys, and small furniture.
Contribute Financially
Donating money to worthy causes and charities is extremely impactful if you have the means. Do research to find organizations that align with your values and make a habit of regular contributions. Even small amounts can help significantly.
Giving to others helps cultivate gratitude and a sense of purpose. It connects you to your community and fosters empathy and goodwill. Make it a priority and habit to give freely of your time, skills, resources, and money. Helping those less fortunate will enrich your life in ways material excess never could. Focusing outwardly is the path to finding true fulfillment.
Method 8 – Balancing wants and needs
To stop being spoiled, you must learn the difference between wants and needs. It’s easy to confuse the two when you’re used to getting everything you like. But distinguishing them is key to finding balance and contentment.
- Needs are essentials for health and happiness, like nutritious food, shelter, healthcare, and loving relationships. They sustain life and well-being.
- Wants are nonessential desires, like the latest tech gadgets, designer clothes, and lavish vacations. They provide temporary pleasure or status but are optional for your basic needs.
The problem with always satisfying your wants is that it creates an endless cycle of craving more and more. You start believing you “need” constant excess and lose touch with what matters. To break this cycle:
- Please make a list of your core needs and prioritize them. Focus on the fundamentals of health, relationships, meaningful work, or hobbies. Meet those first before indulging.
- Distinguish impulse buys from real needs. Wait before purchasing to determine if it’s an essential need or just sparked your interest at the moment. Often, the desire will pass.
- Find fulfillment from non-material sources. Connecting with others, volunteering, engaging in hobbies, exercising, and spending time in nature provide lasting satisfaction without cost.
- Set limits on your wants and budget your money. Only buy what you can afford after accounting for important needs and financial responsibilities. Learn to delay gratification.
- Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Appreciate what you have rather than constantly wanting more. Be present and mindful of life’s simple pleasures. Contentment comes from within, not from excess.
Making these mindset shifts will help you gain balance and free yourself from the cycle of overindulgence and instant gratification. You’ll discover that meeting your needs and nurturing meaningful parts of life provide the only richness that matters.
Method 9 – Techniques for Self-Discipline
To overcome being spoiled, you’ll need to develop self-discipline. This means training yourself to delay gratification and push through discomfort to achieve your goals. Here are some techniques to strengthen your self-discipline:
- Start small and build up gradually. Don’t go from 0 to 60 overnight. Pick one area of your life to focus on, like not hitting the snooze button or limiting screen time before bed. Master that, then move on to the next challenge.
- Remove temptations. Get junk food, electronics, and other distractions out of your environment. The less temptation around, the easier it is to stay disciplined.
- Practice mindfulness. Spending a few minutes daily focused on your breath or the present moment helps build awareness and self-control. You’ll strengthen the self-discipline muscle as you get better at avoiding distraction and delaying gratification in small ways.
- Reward yourself for milestones. Give yourself an incentive to keep working towards your goal. But don’t reward yourself with the very thing you’re trying to limit, like an extra hour of TV if you’re cutting back on screen time. Pick a non-food treat or experience instead.
- Ask for support. Tell friends and family about your resolution to become less spoiled and ask them to check on your progress. Consider working with a therapist or coach who can help keep you accountable and provide guidance.
- Learn to tolerate discomfort. Pushing through the desire for instant gratification is uncomfortable. But each time you do, you’ll build mental toughness and the ability to handle discomfort better in the future. With regular practice, delayed gratification can become second nature.
Becoming self-disciplined and breaking the spoiled habit won’t happen overnight. But by starting small, removing temptations, and building mental toughness, you can train yourself to overcome excessive materialism and instant gratification. With time and practice, you’ll develop the self-discipline to lead a more balanced and meaningful life.
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The Negative Impacts of Being Spoiled on Yourself and Others
Being spoiled can negatively impact both you and those around you. It’s time to break the cycle.
Lack of life skills
If everything has been handed to you, you likely need more basic life skills that most people develop through struggle and hardship. Things like:
- Managing money. Do you know how to budget, save, and spend wisely?
- Problem-solving. Are you able to navigate difficulties and setbacks on your own?
- Handling responsibility. Have you had to be accountable for things like chores, work, or commitments?
- Valuing hard work. Do you appreciate the effort required to achieve goals and acquire things?
These skills are necessary for daily life and adulthood to be a smooth awakening. But the good news is that you can develop them. Start by doing things for yourself and taking ownership of tasks, no matter how small. Learn to budget, do chores, run errands, cook meals, etc. The more you do, the more capable and independent you’ll become.
Lack of Gratitude
When you’re given everything you want, it’s easy to develop an attitude of entitlement. You expect rewards, privileges, and material goods without appreciating their value or cost. This mindset shift can make you seem ungrateful, selfish, and demanding to others.
To build gratitude, reflect on things you’re fortunate to have, even necessities. Appreciate the effort and sacrifices involved in giving you opportunities and possessions. Say “thank you” frequently and sincerely. Do small acts of kindness for others to recognize what you’ve been given. Gratitude is a habit you can cultivate.
Being spoiled may feel good, but the long-term effects can be damaging. Recognize the impacts, make changes, and you’ll be well on your way to overcoming a life of excess and becoming a well-adjusted, contributing member of society. The rewards of self-sufficiency and gratitude will serve you far better in the future.
Personal Development Resources
To stop being spoiled, you need to consciously develop yourself personally in healthy ways. Here are some resources to help you on your journey:
Books
Some highly-rated books on personal growth and overcoming excess include:
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson This book teaches you how to focus on what matters in life.
- The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo This book shows you how to declutter your space and your mind. Letting go of excess possessions is freeing.
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki This book provides a mindset shift from consuming to producing. It teaches financial literacy and escaping the “rat race.”
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey This classic book provides timeless principles for developing good habits and an effective mindset.
Podcasts
Some recommended self-help podcasts include:
- The School of Greatness Lewis Howes interviews leaders and shares practical tips for personal growth.
- The Tim Ferriss Show Tim Ferriss deconstructs world-class performers from many areas of life. You’ll learn a lot about optimizing your life and habits.
- The GaryVee Audio Experience Gary Vaynerchuk shares advice for developing a growth mindset, a work ethic, and escaping entitlement or excess.
- Impact Theory. Host Tom Bilyeu interviews leaders and digs into developing a healthy, productive, and purposeful mindset.
Coaching and mentoring
For personalized guidance, consider working with a life coach or mentor. They can give you tailored advice for your situation and keep you accountable for your personal development goals. Make sure to find someone with experience helping people overcome excess and entitlement.
The path to change is challenging but rewarding. Access these resources regularly to strengthen your resolve, expand your mindset, and break free of unhealthy excess. You have the power to transform yourself through conscious and consistent effort.
Conclusion
So there you have a few tips to help shake off that spoiled mindset and start living a more balanced life. Making changes is never easy, but staying stuck in unhealthy habits and excess is even harder. You have so much amazing potential, and there’s a whole world out there waiting for you. Start small by picking one area to focus on, like learning to cook a few basic meals or volunteering your time for a good cause.
Once you get the ball rolling, you’ll gain momentum and confidence to keep improving yourself and your life. You’ve got this! Break out of your spoiled shell, open your heart to new experiences, and discover the freedom to live on your terms. If you choose to step up and claim it, the world is yours for the taking. What are you waiting for? Get out there and start living!
References
- Self-stigma and the “why try” effect: impact on life goals and evidence-based practices by PATRICK W. CORRIGAN,1 JONATHON E. LARSON, and NICOLAS RÜSCH
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