You’re probably familiar with the concept of yin and yang-the balance between opposing forces. Well, this also applies to personalities. You likely know people who are more dominant while others are more passive and submissive. And you may even recognize these traits within yourself. But what actually defines a dominant versus a submissive personality? And does everyone fall neatly into one of those two categories? We’re going to explore the nuances and spectrums that make up these two personality types.

Understanding these traits in yourself and others can improve your relationships and self-awareness. We’ll look at the psychology behind these personalities without judgment about which is better, because both have value in different contexts. Stay tuned as we unravel the intricacies of being dominant and submissive.

Defining Submissive and Dominant Personality

Defining Submissive and Dominant Personality
Defining Submissive and Dominant Personality

Dominant and submissive personalities are two sides of the same coin. They represent a spectrum of traits focused on control, influence and yielding to others.

Dominant people tend to take charge, direct groups, and steer the conversation. They lead, initiate action, and make quick decisions. Those with dominant tendencies often thrive in leadership roles where they can utilize their confidence and willingness to take risks. However, dominants may come across as controlling or stubborn at times.

On the flip side, submissive individuals are more likely to follow than lead. They tend to be cooperative, obliging, and willing to yield to others. Submissives thrive when supporting dominant leaders or working in groups. However, they can seem indecisive or passive because of their desire to please.

Of course, no one exhibits solely dominant or submissive qualities. Our personalities are shaped by a blend of traits along a continuum. You may lean more to one side or the other, or fall somewhere in the middle.

Some signs you have dominant tendencies include

  •  You enjoy being in positions of leadership and influence.
  •  You have a tendency to take control of situations and steer conversations.
  •  You are confident in your decision making abilities.
  •  You thrive on challenges and taking risks.

Indications you may be more submissive include:

  • You prefer following direction rather than giving it
  • You aim to please others and make them happy.
  • You are a good listener and enjoy supporting the needs of others.
  • You are flexible and willing to yield in order to keep the peace.

Whether dominant, submissive, or somewhere in between, the healthiest personalities blend confidence and humility, leadership and cooperation. The key is developing awareness of your tendencies and learning to balance them in a way that complements your own strengths and the needs of those around you.

The Origins of Dominance and Submission

The Origins of Dominance and Submission
The Origins of Dominance and Submission

Dominant and submissive traits arise from a complex interplay of nature and nurture. Genetics plays some role, as studies of identical twins suggest personality traits are partly heritable. However, environment and upbringing also shape the development of dominance and submission.

As children, we learn how to interact with others from our early experiences and environment, Children who grow up with authoritarian or permissive parenting styles may develop more dominant or submissive tendencies, respectively. Those with authoritarian parents learn that asserting control and power gets needs met, while permissive parenting can foster a desire to please others.

Cultural values and gender roles also contribute to dominance and submission. Traditional masculine gender roles encourage qualities like assertiveness, leadership, and competitiveness—more dominant traits. Feminine gender roles, on the other hand, promote submissive qualities such as empathy, nurturing behavior, and cooperation. Of course, gender roles are highly complex and culturally dependent.

Traumatic experiences can also influence the development of dominance and submission. Victims of abuse or bullying may become more submissive to avoid further harm. Conversely, some may adopt a more dominant persona as a way to regain a sense of power or control.

In truth, most people don’t neatly fall into “dominant” or “submissive” categories. Human personality is complex, and we express a mix of traits that depend heavily on context. However, understanding the origins of these tendencies can help in building self-awareness, enhancing relationships, and promoting healthy interpersonal dynamics. Recognizing how nature, nurture, and environment have shaped your tendencies towards dominance or submission is the first step to achieving balance in how you interact with others.

Characteristics of Dominant Personalities

Characteristics of Dominant Personalities
Characteristics of Dominant Personalities

Dominant personalities tend to take charge and be leaders. They have a strong need to exert control over situations and people. Some key traits of dominant personalities include:

  • Assertive and outspoken. Dominant people speak up and make their opinions known. They have no problem taking the lead in groups or steering conversations.
  • Competitive. Dominant individuals thrive on competition and achievement. They want to succeed and win, whether in their careers, hobbies, or relationships. Losing or failure is hard for them to accept.
  • Decisive. Dominant people make quick decisions and trust their judgment. They don’t have patience for excess deliberation or inaction. Once they’ve made up their mind, they want to move forward with a plan.
  • Ambitious. Dominant personalities set lofty goals and work hard to achieve them. They strive for advancement, status, and continuous self-improvement. Mediocrity does not satisfy them.
  • Risk-takers. Dominant people are willing to take calculated risks to get what they want. Playing it safe all the time is boring and unfulfilling for their bold personalities. They see risk-taking as a pathway to progress.
  • Independent. Although dominant individuals want to influence others, they also value their independence and autonomy. They don’t like being told what to do or having their freedom restricted. They march to the beat of their own drum.
  • Commanding. Dominant people have a commanding presence that naturally draws attention and respect. Their self-confidence, passion, and charisma make others want to follow their lead. They were born to inspire and motivate.

While dominant personalities have many admirable qualities, their need for control and competitiveness can sometimes be overbearing or off-putting to others. The most effective dominant leaders learn to temper these tendencies with empathy, collaboration, and flexibility. Achieving the right balance of assertiveness and sensitivity is key.

Read more

The Pros and Cons of Being Dominant

As a dominant personality, you likely value being in control and taking charge. This can have its advantages, but also some potential downsides to be aware of.

Pros

  •  You get things done efficiently. Dominant people are natural leaders who take initiative and make quick decisions.
  •  You inspire confidence in others. Your decisiveness and authority can motivate teams and reassure people during uncertain times.
  •  You stand up for what you believe in. Dominant individuals are assertive and willing to speak up to defend their principles and ideals.

Cons

  • You may seem intimidating or abrasive to some. Your forceful personality could be off-putting to more submissive people. Make an effort to also show your softer side. 
  • You have trouble delegating. Dominant people often prefer to do everything themselves to maintain control, even when it’s not feasible. Learn to trust others and share responsibilities.
  • You have a hard time compromising. Accustomed to getting your way, compromise and finding common ground can be challenging. Be willing to listen to other perspectives and find mutually agreeable solutions.
  • You may struggle with work-life balance. The same traits that make you driven and accomplished at work can lead to difficulty “turning off” your mind, delegating, and making time for leisure outside of work. Set clear boundaries and practice self-care. 

The key is developing awareness of how your dominance manifests and intentionally cultivating more balanced behavior. Make an effort to show empathy, build trust in others, become a better listener, and avoid an “all work and no play” mindset. With insight and practice, you can leverage the strengths of a dominant personality while overcoming its potential weaknesses.

Signs You Have a Dominant Personality

If you have a dominant personality, you likely exhibit some of the following traits:

  • You enjoy being in control and making decisions. You don’t like taking orders from others and prefer to be the one giving direction.
  • You have strong opinions and aren’t afraid to express them. You stand up for what you believe in and aren’t easily swayed by other perspectives.
  • You’re ambitious and motivated. Mediocrity doesn’t satisfy you- you have big goals and the drive to achieve them.
  • You’re assertive and don’t have an issue taking charge of a situation. You see what needs to get done and are willing to make it happen.
  • You can be stubborn at times. Once you’ve made up your mind about something, you stick to your guns and have a hard time changing course.
  • You have a tendency to be impatient. Waiting around for others or being indecisive frustrates you. You prefer to think and act quickly.
  • You’re competitive by nature. You like to win and achieve more than others. Coming out on top boosts your self-esteem and motivation.
  • You have a commanding presence. The way you carry yourself and communicate demands respect and attention. People naturally follow your lead.
  • You’re not overly emotional. You tend to base your judgments and decisions on logic rather than feelings. Emotions are secondary to reason in your mind.

If this sounds like you, you likely have a dominant personality type. The key is using your strengths positively while being aware of your potential weaknesses. Focus on empowering others rather than overpowering them. Learn to value different perspectives and be flexible when needed. And make sure to take time for self-care—even dominant types need to recharge! Achieving balance will allow your dominant qualities to shine through in a constructive way.

Read more

Characteristics of Submissive Personalities

Characteristics of Submissive Personalities
Characteristics of Submissive Personalities

Dominant personalities may grab the spotlight, but submissive personalities also have an important role to play. If you tend to be more submissive, the following traits probably resonate with you:

You’re a good listener. Submissive individuals are often empathetic and sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. You’re happy to lend an ear and provide emotional support. You’re able to make people feel heard and understood.

You’re cooperative and avoid confrontation. Rather than assert your own needs, you tend to go along with the group and value harmony. You’re willing to compromise to keep the peace. Direct confrontation and conflict make you uncomfortable, so you try to resolve disagreements in a gentle, tactful way.

You seek approval and praise. As a submissive person, you thrive on positive feedback and validation from others. You’re eager to please people and make a good impression. Criticism, on the other hand, can be particularly painful. You have a strong desire to feel valued and accepted.

You’re adaptable and flexible. Submissive individuals are good at adapting to change and going with the flow. You’re willing to yield to the needs and preferences of others rather than insist on getting your own way. This makes you easy to get along with and work with.

You lack assertiveness. The downside is you may have trouble standing up for yourself and your own needs. You tend to put the needs of others before your own, and you can be taken advantage of. Learning assertiveness techniques to set healthy boundaries in a constructive way can help build confidence.

While dominant types may get more glory, submissive personalities are essential for social cohesion and harmony. Recognizing the strengths in your submissive qualities and learning to balance them with more assertive behaviors can help you achieve fulfilling relationships and life experiences.

Signs You Have a Submissive Personality

If you find yourself constantly seeking approval and validation from others, you likely have a submissive personality. Submissive individuals tend to be sensitive, empathetic, and eager to please. They often put the needs of others before their own and have a hard Time saying “no.”

Do you recognize yourself in the following signs of submissive behavior?

You Avoid Conflict Submissive personalities tend to shy away from confrontation and do whatever they can to keep the peace. Rather than express disagreement or unhappiness, you may bottle up your feelings to avoid potential arguments or tension. You prefer to go along with the group rather than make waves.

You Seek Approval The opinions and approval of others are very important to you. You have a strong desire to be liked and accepted, so you may change your behavior or opinions based on what you think will please the people around you. Harsh criticism or disapproval can be emotionally devastating.

You Struggle to Set Boundaries Setting clear boundaries and saying “no” are challenging for submissive individuals. You have a hard time standing up for yourself and tend to let others take advantage of your kindness. As a result, you often feel overwhelmed, taken for granted, and resentful.

You Lack Confidence Despite your many wonderful qualities, you tend to underestimate yourself and your abilities. You may feel insecure in leadership roles or when expressing your needs. Your sense of self-worth depends largely on praise and validation from the important people in your life.

While the submissive traits of empathy, kindness, and cooperation can be admirable qualities, it’s important to build confidence from within and learn how to stand up for yourself. Make sure to practice self-care, set healthy boundaries, and acknowledge your own needs and self-worth. You have so much to offer, so don’t be afraid to let your voice be heard!

The Pros and Cons of Being Submissive

As with any personality type, being submissive has its positives and negatives. Understanding both sides can help you better embrace your tendencies or make improvements.

Pros:

  • Submissive people are often very cooperative and eager to please. They tend to be polite, humble, and put other people’s needs first.
  • Submissives make great team players and collaborators. They are open to input and guidance from others..
  • Submissive personalities tend to be flexible and adaptable. They can thrive in roles where they take direction from more dominant personalities.
  • Submissives tend to be very loyal and devoted to people and causes they care about. They will stick with relationships and commitments for the long haul.

Cons:

  • Submissive people can struggle with confidence and asserting themselves. They may have trouble saying no or standing up for their own needs.
  • Submissives are prone to being taken advantage of by more manipulative or controlling people. They can get walked all over if they don’t develop better boundaries.
  • In relationships, submissive partners may become dependent on their dominant counterparts to make decisions and run the show. This imbalance can lead to resentment over time.
  • Submissive personalities may avoid taking on leadership roles or responsibilities at work or in their community. Their talents and skills can remain untapped as a result.

The key for submissive individuals is leaming how to balance your cooperative nature with standing up for yourself when needed. Develop confidence in your abilities, strengthen your boundaries, and don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and needs. Play to your strengths but also push yourself outside your comfort zone. With awareness and effort, you can reap the rewards of a submissive personality without as many drawbacks.

Dominant and Submissive Dynamics in Relationships

Dominant and Submissive Dynamics in Relationships
Dominant and Submissive Dynamics in Relationships

Relationships require balance to thrive. The dynamic between dominant personalities and submissive personalities can provide that balance, with each complementing the other. However, without mutual understanding and respect, tensions may arise.

As a dominant person, you gain energy from leading and being in control. You are charismatic, driven, and take initiative for important decisions, but you can come across as bossy or arrogant at times. Submissive partners will appreciate your strength and leadership, but may feel overpowered or that their opinions don’t matter as much as they’d like. Make an effort to listen to them and be open to compromise. Ask for their input and express how much you value their perspective.

If you’re submissive, you probably find comfort in supporting others and prefer less confrontation or spotlight. You are empathetic, flexible, and don’t mind yielding to the needs and preferences of a partner. However, a dominant partner may not always recognize your needs or when you feel overwhelmed by their forceful personality. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself in a calm, compassionate way. Let them know how their behavior impacts you, and suggest altemate solutions that work for you both.

A healthy relationship is about understanding, respecting and valuing each other. Dominant and submissive partners can balance each other out when they establish open communication, set boundaries, and make compromises to ensure both feel heard and respected. Learn each other’s preferences, strengths and weaknesses. Discuss how you can support each other through challenges in a constructive way. With mutual effort, dominant and submissive dynamics can lead to a fulfilling partnership where you feel secure being your authentic selves.

Finding Balance Between Dominance and Submission

Finding Balance Between Dominance and Submission
Finding Balance Between Dominance and Submission

In life, there is a natural ebb and flow between dominance and submission. The key to healthy relationships is finding the right balance of these personalities within yourself and with others.

If you tend to be more dominant in nature, it’s important to recognize when to yield. Listen to other perspectives and be open to input. Make an effort to ask questions and understand different points of view. Compromise when you can. While being a leader is important, it’s also vital to follow at times. Learn how to take direction and work as part of a team.

Conversely, if you are typically more submissive, practice asserting yourself in constructive ways. Share your thoughts confidently and stand up for what you believe in. Don’t be afraid to respectfully disagree and set boundaries when needed. Say “no” without guilt when your Smits have been reached. Make your needs and priorities known to avoid being taken advantage of by others.

In your closest relationships, discuss each other’s tendencies towards dominance or submission. Talk about situations where one person’s trait may need to be dialed up or down. Come up with a system for balancing power dynamics. For example, you could trade off who gets the final say in decision making. Or set a rule where the dominant partner gets their way sometimes, the submissive partner gets their way other times, and compromise is required for the rest.

Achieving a healthy balance of dominance and submission in life comes down to awareness, willingness, and practice. Know yourself and how you typically interact with others. Be willing to adopt qualities from the opposite end of the spectrum. And practice—start with small changes and build up from there. Incorporating these principles will lead to greater fulfillment in all areas of your life.

Tips for Relating to the Opposite Personality Type

As with any relationship, understanding and compromise are key. When dealing with someone of the opposite dominant or submissive personality, keep these tips in mind: 

  1. Give them space. Dominant types crave independence and submissives need time alone to recharge. Respect their need for solitude and don’t take it personally.
  2. Listen actively. Make eye contact, give them your full attention, and listen to understand rather than just reply. Ask open-ended questions to make sure you comprehend their perspective and needs.
  3. Be flexible. Willingness to adapt to different situations and ways of doing things is important. Don’t force your own methods or timetables on them. Find a compromise that works for you both.
  4. Share control. If you’re dominant, delegate some decision making to your submissive partner. If you’re submissive, speak up about your needs and opinions. A balance of influence and accommodation is healthiest.
  5. Reassure them. Submissives may need extra affirmation of your affection and commitment. Dominants can benefit from reminders that you appreciate their leadership and guidance. Expressing your genuine feelings will strengthen the connection.
  6. Negotiate boundaries. Discuss what you each need to feel comfortable and cared for. Be open to hearing differing viewpoints without judgment. Set clear rules and expectations to avoid confusion or hurt feelings later on.
  7. Value their strengths. Appreciate the positive qualities the other person brings to the relationship. Their complementary traits can balance you in a healthy way if you foster understanding and acceptance.

With work, empathy, honesty and compromise, relationships between dominant and submissive personalities can be extremely rewarding. Focus on communication, set aside preconceptions, and find the beauty in your differences.

FAQS on Dominant and Submissive Personalities

So you’ve taken a personality test and discovered you have dominant or submissive tendencies. What does that really mean? Here are some commonly asked questions to help you understand these personality types.

  1. What’s the difference between dominant and submissive personalities?Dominant personalities tend to be more assertive, ambitious, and willing to take risks. Submissive personalities are usually more passive, accommodating, and willing to relinquish control to others. Of course, no one is completely one or the other; we all have elements of both in our character.
  2. Do dominant people make good leaders?Not necessarily. While a dominant personality may pursue leadership roles more eagerly, effective leadership requires more than just dominance. Key traits like vision, communication, and empathy are equally, if not more, important. Some dominant individuals may lack these qualities, just as some submissive types may possess them. Leadership ability depends on the individual, not their personality alone.
  3. Are submissive people weak?No, submissiveness does not equal weakness. Submissive people can be just as principled, determined, and courageous as anyone else. They may be more willing to compromise and avoid direct confrontation, but that doesn’t make them weak or spineless. Submissiveness is simply a personality trait, not a measure of character or resilience.
  4. Can dominant and submissive people have a healthy relationship?Absolutely, with mutual understanding and respect. The key is finding a balance of power that satisfies both parties. This may involve the dominant partner relinquishing some control at times and the submissive partner asserting themselves when needed. Clear communication about needs, desires, and limitations helps ensure the relationship remains on equal footing. Compromise and willingness to meet in the middle are essential.

Final Thought

While dominant and submissive tendencies are innate parts of our personality, we each have the ability to adapt our behavior to fit the situation. Understanding your tendencies and your partner’s can help build a relationship where both feel fully heard, respected and cared for.

References

Believe in mind Newsletter

Let’s boost your self-growth with Believe in Mind.

Interested in self-reflection tips, learning hacks, and knowing ways to calm down your mind? We offer you the best content which you have been looking for.

Join Our Newsletter

Join Our Newsletter
Join Our Newsletter - Post Sidebar